READ 2 SAMUEL 14
GO DEEPER
Stubborn:
- Having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so. (Oxford English Dictionary)
- Example: David in 2 Samuel 14.
Chapter 14 starts with David holding onto his anger and deciding against bringing Absalom back home, despite missing him and knowing it would be beneficial for the nation. The discord within David's family had the capability to harm Israel as a whole. His father and the people of Israel deeply loved Absalom, and his absence caused much sorrow. The kingdom could potentially split as a result of these events.
Joab, a close associate of David, is mindful of the king's obstinate nature and understands that a direct appeal will not be successful. Therefore, Joab devises a scheme that will prompt the king to indirectly address the issue himself. He enlists the help of a wise woman to present a fabricated scenario to David: her two sons were involved in a deadly altercation, resulting in one killing the other, and now the community seeks to punish the surviving son and destroy her home. David's empathy towards the woman's plight prompts him to announce his protection for her and her remaining son. The conversation culminates in a critical moment; she inquires why David would safeguard her son and property while not extending the same compassion to his son and the nation.
Stubbornness arises from a combination of pride and fear: pride takes root in our hearts when we are convinced of our correctness, while fear grows as we encounter challenges to that conviction. Pride, fear, and stubbornness are qualities that do not stem from God. Thus, how can we increase our self-awareness of our stubbornness in order to combat it? The Harvard Business Review presents the following signs as indicators of stubbornness:
You keep insisting on a point or plan, even when you know you're wrong. You pursue activities that appeal to you, irrespective of whether others are interested in them.
You tend to highlight the obstacles and flaws in others' suggestions.
You display emotions of anger, annoyance, and impatience when others try to convince you of something you disagree with.
You reluctantly agree to or comply with others' demands while planning to go a different route all along.
When we look at David's behavior in relation to this list, we can observe the connection and negative consequences of such a mindset. Instead of letting stubbornness take hold, we should put aside our fear and pride and focus on seeking God's direction and promoting His glory over our own. Proverbs 12:1 provides wisdom on this matter, stating that those who embrace discipline also value knowledge, while those who reject correction are foolish. Let us strive to be individuals who appreciate discipline and knowledge, rather than stubbornness.
QUESTIONS
1. Consider a moment when you displayed stubborn behavior. What fears or pride were involved in that situation?
2. Do you remain open to differing opinions, or do you react with frustration and impatience?
3. Examine the points listed in the Harvard Business Review. Are there any current challenges where you are reacting stubbornly? How could you approach these situations with a mindset focused on embracing learning and discipline instead?